Episode 19: Veronica Vera
Originally recorded and released as Lady’s After Hours podcast, for Lady.
Photo by Victoria Heilweil.
I believe in leading intentional lives surrounded by beauty. As I’ve mentioned before, this podcast series developed out of conversations about how best to lead lives surrounded by beauty and inspiration—how to lead our lives with greater intention yet also with more openness and spontaneity. I seek out cultural creatives across many fields to discuss with them their lives, careers and the decisions they have made over the years in order to mold their ideal lives. The paths my interviewees have taken are quite diverse but they are always driven by a depth of curiosity and enthusiasm that is outside of the normal constraints of society and business.
Recently I sat down with Veronica Vera, a woman whose career path is circuitous, varied and always joyfully playing just outside of society’s norms. From New Jersey, Vera grew up in a strict Catholic household. After college she moved to New York City and worked for a small brokerage firm on Wall Street. There she discovered sex—a revelation that forever changed the path of her life. Since then sex and sexuality have been the defining focus of Veronica’s multifaceted career as a sex journalist, porn star, erotic model, prostitutes’ rights activist and later the head of the world’s first cross-dressing academy, Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls.
Veronica Vera, 1982, Robert Mapplethorpe
Her explorations in sex led to her model for the likes of Robert Mapplethorpe, brought about her first published writing, introduced her to her best friends and opened up the world of porn to her. As she details in our interview, Veronica met the porn star and artist Annie Sprinkle in the late 1970s on a debauched weekend in upstate New York. Fast friends, the two became collaborators—first on a series of erotic art book and magazine projects, and then on porn films in the mid-1980s. Some of their collaborative projects are on view through January 19th, 2020, in an exhibition at the Leslie-Lohman Museum of Art—ON OUR BACKS: The Revolutionary Art of Queer Sex Work. In 1983 Veronica founded the first porn star support group, Club 90, alongside the good friends she had met in the industry—Veronica Hart, Gloria Leonard, Candida Royalle, and Sprinkle. Together they met regularly to offer each other emotional support, share contacts and strategize ways of producing, directing and distributing their own work within a male dominated industry, in addition to also creating performance art based around their meetings (see some images in the slideshow above). Through changes of career, cross-country moves and deaths of members, the group has stayed close and provided a vital inspiration for generations of porn actors to follow.
Veronica and Seka in front of the Senate judiciary committee. Photo by Annie Sprinkle.
From the late 1970s through the 1990s, Veronica Vera was a featured author and columnist in erotic magazines such as ADAM and Penthouse Variations. In her monthly column for ADAM—“Veronica Vera’s New York”—she investigated all aspects of sexuality, exploring for herself and for her readers everything from BDSM dungeons to the notorious sex club Plato’s Retreat to streetwalkers (this full article with photos is up on her blog). I first discovered Veronica Vera through an old issue of ADAM and was immediately intrigued. In that issue Veronica wrote about testifying in front of a Senate Judiciary subcommittee on juvenile justice led by Senator Arlen Specter that was investigating pornography. She showed visual aides including photos of herself in bondage and read a piece of erotica that surely titillated all of the assembled politicians. On reading this I wanted to know more about this strong, sexually confident woman and started to do a deep dive of her work, which led to this interview.
By the late 1980s she had also started to assist cross-dressers who were newly exploring this aspect of themselves—she would help them with shopping, makeup, wigs, walking and the like. Soon realizing that this was a full curriculum, in 1991 she established Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls. Still flourishing, the school is run from her hot pink Chelsea apartment. The school assists cross dressers in all the feminine arts and in becoming more comfortable with themselves. Veronica has a warm, motherly energy that is a perfect match for this work. Now the author of three books from the perspective of Miss Vera (see below to order), she is a knowledgeable guide and educator about gender issues.
While we dove into all aspects of her work and career—the impact her sexual awakening had on her as a woman and as a writer; the porn world and her support group for former porn stars; her cross-dressing academy—Veronica also opened up about relationships and death. As the end of life partner for three men, she has a deep understanding of pain, sorrow, love and loyalty. In the 1980s Veronica married her gay best friend and next-door neighbor, Robert Maxwell Lock, after he was diagnosed with AIDS—the season three finale of HBO’s The Deuce was based on this wedding (Veronica acted as a consultant for all three seasons). In the late 1990s she nursed her love Phil Berger during his colon cancer treatments. In late 2011 she became engaged to her beloved boyfriend of four years, Stuart Cottingham. Soon after he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. They married but he passed away within months. As you’ll hear in the interview, through these heartbreaks and great sorrows Veronica has found an incredibly deep inner strength within her that I found very moving and inspiring.
Now at work on an autobiography, at 73-years-old Veronica is still full of a vigor and joy in life, in her work and in her friendships. A true inspiration.
For more on Veronica:
Miss Vera at her academy. Photo by Nancy Rica Schiff from her book Odd Jobs, 2005.
A few articles by Veronica Vera (click to expand and read):
Times Square Comes Alive (1985):
Veronica Vera presents an overview of Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls, NYC,world's first crossdressing academy. Who are the students? the teachers? the lessons? With clips from Miss Vera on Conan and The View:
Books, films and magazines including Veronica Vera:
